You know that relief you get when it’s finally your turn at the ATM queue at that time of the month when almost the whole city is at the ATM queue? Or that coolness of going from a slow creepy mobile network to a 4G with a super speed, or that relief you get from holding on from urinating for a long time, that refreshing feeling, that mega sigh of excitement and your mind shouting out loud, “AT LAST”. That is exactly the feeling I got after I left teenage-hood and clicked adulthood. I felt a new life was about to start, a new beginning was about to unfold itself with all the glitters, the shine, the grind, the rides and the ‘flyest’ styles and moves. Little did I know, I was lying to myself.
It felt good that I was finally approaching that gallery of love, merriments and excitements. I wrote in my dreams and my thoughts all the diaries in advance of how I envisioned my marriage life to be. Mind you, I didn’t even have a girlfriend and I was just clocking twenty then, how ambitious I will say. This is because of how much we’ve been made to say marriage, a perfect flow of PERFECT inhibition. A union of two lovers undeniable dying for each other, nonstop. A continuous joy and affection, no fight, no quarrels, continuous sex and orgasms nonstop. Little did I know, all these paintings were hyperboles, exaggerated combos of lines and sentences, a little too much colour in the contours and too much flowery combinations in the descriptions.
The reality started to down on me when I started reading testimonies, opinions, experiences of people that have seen and dwelt in marriage and marriage related conversations and then I got to realise that this marriage is but a bed of roses and a bed of thorns, a bed of joy and merriments, also a bed of patience. It got scary when I read a photographer’s tweet that some many marriages end now before the couples get the chance of getting their photographs ready. Quicksand of a deadly desert.
It is very important for people to know marriage in its various forms and to be on the know and get themselves educated of everything it encompasses. Not just the sweetness of it, but also the sourness ir entails. Not just its fullness and perfections but also its inadequacies and imperfections. There is a belief that I hold so dear that whenever one expects so much in something, then he/she ends up getting disappointed then that’s when withdrawal, sadness and resentment sinks in and everything turns to blackness.
In every marriage, there should be no mirage. It should have the perfect painting, the most outlined understandings and clear view of what it is, what it stands for and what it isn’t and what it doesn’t stand for. Patience, communication and understanding is key and very important.